Well…
During a painting I go to a place that’s kinda dark.
Fear, pain, anger, and rage reside there.
Good or bad, it was a place one learns, necessary to survive.
A boy within the Dragon.
The problem is,regardless of predisposition it has become habitual and a learned reaction.
Maybe fight or flight,
Maybe addictive,
Maybe safe,
but also no longer necessary.
Unlearning is difficult without deciphering. Remapping.
I’m very good at surviving,
May be The Best,
but it comes with a growl.
While painting I must face it, go through it, and leave it lying there on the floor.
I don’t like be vulnerable ….
But I am trying.